Fascinating Article on Trans Amourous Men

On vice.com.

By "trans amourous men" here is meant: men who are attracted (romantically and/or sexually) to transwomen. The article talks about the discrimination, and outright hostility, such men face, and how that can make it difficult for transwomen to find fulfilling relationships: especially transwomen who haven't had bottom surgery.

Terrific Article, "My Life Without Gender", by Tyler Ford

In the Guardian.

What totally resonated with me was Tyler's comment that it was well into their life before they realized that there was even an option of not being identified as either male or female. I am pretty sure I lost a lot of valuable time for that same reason. I always knew I wasn't male, but I didn't really feel quite female, either, so that made it seem as if I really did have to be male. Back and forth, back and forth.

What a treat to be able to get off that see-saw and just be me.

Great Post on Male Lingerie

Really nice post over on Petra Joy's blog about male lingerie. As I say in a comment there, it's great that people are making sexy panties for people with penises. The panties made for people with vaginas can sometimes be a bit confining. The downside is that these can be very expensive. A typical pair of panties from Homme Mystere, as lovely as they are, runs $25 or more, compared to like $10 for a 3-pack of cotton Hanes.

The place I've been doing most of my shopping for this kind of thing is XDress. The panties are still on the expensive side, but much less so, and they have a wider selection. Like Homme Mystere, they also have bras and camis and the like, and even some cute costumes, like this French Maid outfit.

To be honest, though, it's just really nice to know that there are enough male-bodied people out there who want to wear this kind of thing that there are now several companies selling it.

Terrific Washington Post Article About An A-Gendered Person

Really great article in the Washington Post about Kelsey, who was born with a "female" body, but realizes as she goes through high school that she does not identify as male or as female. It's wonderful to see such an honest, sympathetic portrait in one of the US's papers of record.

For what it's worth, I feel like Kelsey is the opposite of me. She doesn't identify as female, but doesn't identify as male, either. I don't identify as male because I am just as inclined to identify as female. But, in other ways, of course, our struggles are similar.

Three cheers for Kelsey's mother, Nancy, who supports her despite her own difficulties understanding her.

The missing youth...

Great post from GLAAD about the lack of trans-folk in children's media.

Transgender Teen in New Jersey Denied Right to Schooling

OK. What she has been denied is the right to show up at school dressed and acting as accord with her gender identity. Think Progress has the story.

Men's Biggest Fears

I have said it many times, but Jayson Gaddis says it well, too: Men are terrified of being perceived as feminine. That terror is what is behind a lot of homophobia and transphobia.

Excellent Article on Street Harrassment

From XOJane.

Very Interesting Post on Consent

1. Go Slow
2. Be Aware Of Her
3. Verbally Check In With Her 
4. Your Boner, Your Problem
5. Your No Is Just As Valid As Hers

From The Gentleman’s Guide To Proactive Sexual Consent

Links to Some Good Recent Posts

Kind of trying to catch up here. So, a few links to recent (and some not so recent) blog posts I think are worth reading.

• Unsurprisingly, the gay-straight binary makes no more sense than the gender binary (Slate, Role Reboot).
• Nice post from Emily Heist Moss apologizing for thinking male sexuality is as simple as the stereotype has it (Role Reboot).
• Great article about why it really can be empowering to be on the receiving end of rough sex (AlterNet), as Belle Knox bravely insisted (xoJane). The comments definitely show people how confused people are about this.

Charlie Glickman on the Performance of Masculinity

Really interesting piece about how people describe "real men". Perhaps what's most interesting is what "real men" are not supposed to be: "gay, female, loser". As Glickman says: "I think that says pretty interesting things about homophobia and sexism".

I Don't Fit Into Those Boxes

When we speak about gender, we are speaking about the masculine and the feminine. What on earth do we mean by the "masculine" and the "feminine"?

Those of us who live unhappily in a world with only these categories can find this kind of question especially difficult. It's widely understood now that masculinity and femininity are social categories rather than biological or anatomical ones. But they are no less real for that. If you want to know why they matter, then reflect on this for a bit: The easiest way to tell whether something is "feminine" is to ask yourself how likely a boy who expressed interest in it would be to get teased, taunted, ridiculed, or ostracized for doing so.

Living Between Male and Female

My wife used to say that she could tell how I was feeling by what was in the laundry basket. The more anxious I was, the more likely I was to cross-dress. It wasn't something I hid from Lee. In fact, I told her about it shortly after we met, and it wasn't a big deal. But it wasn't something that I shared with her, either. I didn't know what to make of it. If a friend had told me they cross-dressed, I'd have been fine with it. But it's different when it's you.