I Don't Fit Into Those Boxes

When we speak about gender, we are speaking about the masculine and the feminine. What on earth do we mean by the "masculine" and the "feminine"?

Those of us who live unhappily in a world with only these categories can find this kind of question especially difficult. It's widely understood now that masculinity and femininity are social categories rather than biological or anatomical ones. But they are no less real for that. If you want to know why they matter, then reflect on this for a bit: The easiest way to tell whether something is "feminine" is to ask yourself how likely a boy who expressed interest in it would be to get teased, taunted, ridiculed, or ostracized for doing so.

Living Between Male and Female

My wife used to say that she could tell how I was feeling by what was in the laundry basket. The more anxious I was, the more likely I was to cross-dress. It wasn't something I hid from Lee. In fact, I told her about it shortly after we met, and it wasn't a big deal. But it wasn't something that I shared with her, either. I didn't know what to make of it. If a friend had told me they cross-dressed, I'd have been fine with it. But it's different when it's you.