Men's Biggest Fears

I have said it many times, but Jayson Gaddis says it well, too: Men are terrified of being perceived as feminine. That terror is what is behind a lot of homophobia and transphobia.

Excellent Article on Street Harrassment

From XOJane.

Very Interesting Post on Consent

1. Go Slow
2. Be Aware Of Her
3. Verbally Check In With Her 
4. Your Boner, Your Problem
5. Your No Is Just As Valid As Hers

From The Gentleman’s Guide To Proactive Sexual Consent

Links to Some Good Recent Posts

Kind of trying to catch up here. So, a few links to recent (and some not so recent) blog posts I think are worth reading.

• Unsurprisingly, the gay-straight binary makes no more sense than the gender binary (Slate, Role Reboot).
• Nice post from Emily Heist Moss apologizing for thinking male sexuality is as simple as the stereotype has it (Role Reboot).
• Great article about why it really can be empowering to be on the receiving end of rough sex (AlterNet), as Belle Knox bravely insisted (xoJane). The comments definitely show people how confused people are about this.

Charlie Glickman on the Performance of Masculinity

Really interesting piece about how people describe "real men". Perhaps what's most interesting is what "real men" are not supposed to be: "gay, female, loser". As Glickman says: "I think that says pretty interesting things about homophobia and sexism".

I Don't Fit Into Those Boxes

When we speak about gender, we are speaking about the masculine and the feminine. What on earth do we mean by the "masculine" and the "feminine"?

Those of us who live unhappily in a world with only these categories can find this kind of question especially difficult. It's widely understood now that masculinity and femininity are social categories rather than biological or anatomical ones. But they are no less real for that. If you want to know why they matter, then reflect on this for a bit: The easiest way to tell whether something is "feminine" is to ask yourself how likely a boy who expressed interest in it would be to get teased, taunted, ridiculed, or ostracized for doing so.

Living Between Male and Female

My wife used to say that she could tell how I was feeling by what was in the laundry basket. The more anxious I was, the more likely I was to cross-dress. It wasn't something I hid from Lee. In fact, I told her about it shortly after we met, and it wasn't a big deal. But it wasn't something that I shared with her, either. I didn't know what to make of it. If a friend had told me they cross-dressed, I'd have been fine with it. But it's different when it's you.